Remember the screaming-at-the-public-pool incident? How could we forget. I went back for the first time today and found the universe had bestowed upon me my own swim lane. A gift for going through the belly of the beast and coming out the other side. I embraced my reward, finished my laps and took a ride down the waterslide.
I’ve missed writing here! I’ve been working a bananas-startup job for the last 3 months that takes so much of my brain power my life is now lopsided. The best (and hardest) part of my new job is it necessitates I become (1) the best designer I have ever been and (2) be the most confident. My Sowers Genes™ mean I have the work ethic of a Clydesdale but the paranoia of a tradesman who’s unsure they’ll work next month. I’ve added two new mentors to my trusty gang and have a post-it note stuck to my monitor that reads “JUST GO FOR IT, BABY”.
And that I did when I ordered my new SAKS POTTS trench from bed, the most money I had ever wired from an old busted iPhone in a semi-conscious state. The purchase was considered but unhinged. For one, it was $1000. For two, it would cost as much as the coat itself to ship it back to Copenhagen if I didn’t like it. She’d be mine for better or worse.
The coat arrived in a shipping box so large I was genuinely confused what had arrived. Inside, it was packaged in another box so heavy it felt more like a tree than paper. Pulling out the coat, I felt craftsmanship like never before - chocolate brown piping finished the inside seams, hand-woven British Harris Tweed lined the cuffs and under collar, and finally beautiful swaths of Scottish cotton so thick it made sounds.
Trying it on, I had one overwhelming thought –this thing is HUGE. Sleeves to my knuckles, and a silhouette that fits a 6ft 2” Tony, literally.
I had measured and ordered my correct size – this must be the intended fit, yet I spiralled. A combination of the price of the coat, its uniqueness (I hadn’t seen anyone else where it, thus had zero social validation), and how BIG it felt, how BIG it made me feel. I was 5ft 9” at 12 years old – big is not what I look for in my clothing. Am I TOO big? Not physically – but in my aspirations? Did the universe just put me in my place – hey C, you ain’t that cool yet babes, try again next time.
Yet returning this thing wasn’t an option, and the more I wore it – first around the neighbourhood to walk Gus, then everyday on a trip to Whistler. I started to feel…amazing? It was warm (it has a detachable vest!), practical (it never stops raining in Vancouver), unique (did I mention the vest?), oddly versatile for day and nighttime (can be worn cinched or loose). Hell, I’ll go so far as to say I felt European.
So here’s what I have to say – new experiences by definition shove you out of your comfort zone. They scare the shit out of you and attempt to tell you to try again next time. Then, you remind them who the f* you are and throw yourself into them – completely commit, let them evolve you, and next thing you know you’re wearing your big ass trench coat feeling like a billion bucks.
Hope you’re feeling like a billion bucks wherever you are.
If you’re curious, here’s a link to the trench – be-warned this model must be 7 feet tall.
Caitlin
Love this and have been on the search for a trench and this may be it! Thank you for the link and for another good read 🩷